you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
Pretty sure even her dog was surprised when I got that blow job.
don't say the first was when I crawled under into the dressing room
we drunk the bar out of liquor so the guy was selling us bottles of wine for $2a each. Only good thing to come outta this flood
I don't think anybody else enjoys making out with multiple guys on the same night as much as I do. I'm like a wine taster but with lips... it's like art to me. The bruise on my upper lip is proof of it
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
Imma do me. And by that, I mean I'm going to walk across campus still drunk at 9am on a Tuesday.
Friends don't let friends drunk sleep in the dorm common room
Well he fell three stories from the balcony and still had the strength to fuck me for 2 hours.
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
If I had your ass I would rule the world
I wasn't talking about him I meant his penis! Its not a pet
Oh. Well it should be. I like petting it.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
Randomize
