So there are ramen noodles in the shower you need to explain...
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
k so who do I think I'm kidding applying to culinary school? I just fucked up a microwaveable pizza
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
I learned 3 things lastnight....1. Turkeys are related to the t-rex. 2. Whales have leg bones cause they used to walk. 3. I will sing drunk in the waffle house, but not during karaoke in the bar
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Why don't you throw your vagina at it and see what happens?
The ketchup exploded, and totally splooged his face and the wall. You could see the outline of his head in the wall splatter.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So how exactly do I backtrack from motorboating and ass grabbing?
he's smothering me... and not in the good, can you move your thigh off my face please?.. way
Its one thing to reject me, but to reject me AND my hottest friend AT THE SAME TIME!?!?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
