did you get my message about your dog?
no... is he ok?
no, i didn't see him when i was being chased out of your house. check your drive way :( sry
You were scared that your teeth were shrinking so you stuck your fist in your mouth. then you were convinced your hand was growing cuz it got stuck so yu started crying
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
he squeezed my boobs like he didn't know what else to do with them, then turned down head...
told you he was gay.
She called herself a train and then took off all her clothing. I forget everything after that.
I saw you two flinging Jello at the sidewalk if that helps jog your memory.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
you riverdanced for the cops while the rest ran away.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Don't matter if she's straight, I'll get her. I'm not called The Transformer for nothing
YES please come visit. Lets go get belligerent. I won't even pepperspray you
Only I could turn my one night stands into class essays. Go me.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
Randomize
