Can Purell be used as lube?
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
so i was pissing and the phone rang but i forgot i was pissing so i just ran to answer the phone. it was too late when i realized
the people of mcdonalds are all starring at me & this dude like they know we just slept together
If I'm going to go gay, i'm not going to go for a tiny dick.
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
Just went through ex bf's and hook up buddys and liked pictures of them on facebook. A friendly reminder that I will be back in for the holidays
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
No, we talked about it. They're cool with me living here as long as I sleep with them both.
You're a rent hooker.
What time did you start drinking?
Maybe.
Maybe isn't a time...
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
He was like low grade Riff Raff, but I hit it. Twice. His grill popped out the second time.
And I broke things off with Justin last night. Except I texted him while he was asleep and then I was like well, that's probably not what he wants to wake up to, so I sent him a picture of the coconut I microwaved and caught on fire when I was really high one time.
Randomize
