Culvers...So Good
So good. The butter burgers slip right outta my ass.
Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I just had sex in a moon bounce. It is all down hill from here.
i guess it wasn't a booty call since he got home from the club at 6:00 am... he told me to consider it morning sex
Hey man your outta milk
How the hell do you keep getting in my apartment?!
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
DONT LET HIM GET NAKED. JUST SAY NO
In other news, I just burned my penis
We found Mulan.
I thought you were in bed what the hell
pray to the hookup gods
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
I came home with 30lbs of BBQ last night. I can't pick up women in a bar but I sure can pick up leftovers from a corporate party.
I DONT WANT YOUR DICK. I WANT BRUNCH.
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
Randomize
