I sware she could use her own nose as a dildo.
I cant date a girl that sucks dick at sucking dick
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
I only made out with him because he cured my hiccups
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
Legitimate concern. Who am I going to have birthday sex with?
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
I got so drunk at the hockey game I bought everyone behind me in concession line a funnel cake.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
just woke up and currently drinking copious amounts of eggnog straight from the carton to replenish the electrolytes lost last night
Let us ponder on the good times. Ya know when the Jonas brothers were incapable of growing facial hair and I didn't fully understand what a dick looks like
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
Last night I watered my lawn and smoked a joint then cooked a steak. I'm really killing this adulthood thing.
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
Randomize
