I think I just saw the silver monkey from legends of the hidden temple sitting out in someone's trash
GO. BACK. NOW.
make sure to take notes today. there is a guy in a wheelchair who might be getting a DUI from a cop on horseback. I'm gonna see this through.
I woke up at 2 in my clothes with a defrosted steak in my pocket, no drinky this week at all.
So the weirdest part of it all was he whispered in my ear "can i eat you out on your tredmill?" I dont find him attractive at all anymore
i was told that i was found face down in a plate of ketchup at the dinner table
going to class with no bra.. is that saying "i don't give a fuck i'm one hour away from thanksgiving break?"
the realtor just took us to a house I had a one night stand in. I feel like it's a sign.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
His voice is like having sex with hot chocolate and then suddenly you're pregnant.
I forgot how easy it is to have sex in public when you're wearing a dress. Thank you global warming.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
I have only been here for a week and might contributed to a dumpster fire on accident.
Randomize
