True but thats because hes a fetus.
Just had a girl agree to give me a blowjob in exchange for wearing my jacket during class. Talk about successful negotiations. Best day of my life
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
I just made my bed perfectly before realizing that I'll be too drunk to appreciate it tonight
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Just think, if your stepsister would've gotten knocked up 2 years earlier, she could've had a TV show. What a bitch.
He bought my favorite ceral.. I've guess I've earn the status as one of his regular fuck buddies. I feel honored and proud. His roommates girls don't get this treatment.
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
Well tech shes born nov 12, but since her head was out on the 11th, she claims both days as her birthday
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
It looks like you got dick slapped by the sandman..
HELL YEAH TIME TO KICK THE CHILDREN
Randomize
