i can totally tell he's high. he's having a conversation with my dog.
I'm buying this stripper a house, I don't care what her name is.
But never have I ever had sex with a dirty talker before, so it was something else, to say the least. I signed up to get laid, not play Penthouse Mad Libs.
i'm so high that my cigarette just tasted like chef boyardee. no lie.
I feel like vodka or no vodka, you'd still be trying to button your cat into your comforter
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
We lost track of him for only 10 min and he gets kicked out for sneaking into the kitchen and trying to operate the deep fryer.
Just say its a British thing. They wont know Its not. And if they say you're not British, proposition them for a post-sex game of cricket.
Thoughts of banging the girl who just opened my beer with her teeth?
At least one of us had a weekend full of money and dick
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Should I take a fireball shot or brush my teeth?
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
Last night I ate a candle out of a strippers ass.... I guess it was an okay night.
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