brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
so I smoked with the leasing agent of the apartment complex. Of corse I am going to take this one
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
Just got cockblocked by coyotes. This would happen to me.
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
We eventually get in a cab (after david tried to hail multiple regular cars and some sort of shuttle bus)
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
Dude, tumbleweeds have been rolling through my bed lately. This is my dryest dry spell since I was married.
He's tiny, but ripped. Like a stacked hobbit. He's going to pull our sexy, crime-fighting rickshaw.
You’re sleeping on my couch so you’re not making dick appointments tonight
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
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