Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I just offered a homeless man a meal from McDonald's, and he replied "I don't eat McDonald's food". That is the epitome of "begger's can't be choosers."
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
is there a reason why there is cup of piss in the fridge?
no
I'm soaked in beer, and I think blood. Why did we think we could tap a keg with a hammer?
I found you laying in the kitchen with a bottle of vodka and a slice of bologna on your face. You said you were having a spa day.
I'm eating crumbled blue cheese out of Tubbaware. My life is nothing.
I don't remember much but I think I'm wearing your underwear, and for that, I am extremely grateful.
The man who lives downstairs is fluent in Russian, and also a playboy. You should meet.
Also if i get drunk and start crying about the elephants you all have my permission to abandon me.
guess who got crunk and thought it would be a good idea to give herself a pixie cut?
THOUGHT
i fucked his best friend. once right next door to him. i'm pretty sure that could be called sweet revenge.
I have filthy fantasies involving his tongue. My vagina almost exploded while he was licking that ice cream cone.
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
