i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
Ya,, he does have virgin eyes. Thats a real thing you know...
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
The shit show didn't end. it just relocated itself to my apartment instead of yours.
you also need to get my treadmill fixed.
Why do you need me to cover for work?
I wouldn't say NEED but lets just say I smell like guacamole and semen.
I must be the strongest person who ever managed to get knocked down by a pug.
I broke a glass at the bar and ended up with blood on my forehead. I apparently kept screaming BLOOD like the little boy in that YouTube video.
Could we try to replay the decision making process whereby only you and I bought and drank a keg this weekend? Because there were some fundamental flaws!
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
We went there specifically for you to break it off with him and I walk in on you two in the bathroom with his dick in your mouth
but he had pizza... so i win
I give up.
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
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