I cheated on you last night. I slept with my laptop.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
That girl would be way hotter if she changed her face.
only if we run a train.
done.
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
Does the whole "it was New Years" excuse apply this year?
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
Oh it's tea and biscuits for everyone. An possibly pink eye
he just used a semicolon in the middle of a sext
Apparently my thong was thrown in the cornfield last night. No one will tell me why.
Woke up naked with a post-it that said "don't ask questions" on my ass...i know im not supposed to ask but uhm what did I do?
Randomize
