I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
Things on my life to do list: hold a pound of marijuana. Check.
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
EW EW EW EW THAT PENIS BELONGS TO SOMEONE'S FATHER! THAT PENIS BELONGS TO OUR FRIEND'S FATHER! THAT PENIS HELPED CREATE OUR FRIEND! YOU'RE NOT ALLOWED TO ADMIRE IT!
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Dear room mates I tried to shotgun pam in the kitchen. It is slippery. Please be careful. That is all. Love you.
you're my knight in shining pee-resistant armor
BTW rolling him off the couch and onto that tarp was pure genius. He definitely pissed himself last night.
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
i peed in the parking lot at work not even thinking, a woman saw
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I'm getting paid over-time to sit on reddit and look at dicks and abs all day. I'm really happy right now.
So, my first week in Saskatchewan ended with me drinking moonshine and getting eaten out in a tractor. I already love it here!
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