My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
i woke up naked with 27 half ripped $ bills in my bed from ripping them off the wall of the bar
This flask doesn't match my outfit. I hope the gays don't mind.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
He had the smallest penis i'd ever seen. I can see why he drinks his life away.
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
I ran a string through all of my old vicodin bottles and strung them on the tree. Tis the season.
the parade is in 5 days. put your big boy pants on and come to beer training. time to build your tolerance. i can't have you passing out in a bush with a cape on again this year.
That man deserves a slow clap... He defied the power of the vagina
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
We turned on "find my friends" and watched her progress. Got concerned when she didn't move for an hour on Adelaide, turned out a booty call was made, then she went back to the bars.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
I had to carry him up the hill while he was wearing nothing but knee high socks and a blue glitter sequin leotard.
Why is this not a picture message?
I think a major source of concern would be the fact you snorted a shot. Who does that?
Randomize
