Yeah, I was googling pictures of sharks, and I accidentally typed "shart." Huge mistake.
She even gives head with a lisp.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
I don't want to talk. I just want to motorboat those tits
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
Its so bad though\nOur relationship has gotten to the point where im posing nude with a swiffer
Yeah,I'm just gonna keep fucking other guys til this idiot figures out he loves me.
You know you're an adult when you start planning your hookup a week in advance
Randomize
