never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
just did the walk of shame by his grandma. what the fuck is an old lady doing up at six am?
NExt question... Do i wanna sleep under my palm tree
YES.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
Just so you know, a 6'7" tall gay man, with a martini in one hand and a fairy wand in the other, is not a force to be reckoned with...don't ask.
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
Dude, she doesn't even live here... She just can't eat all our food and masturbate on my dog's couch...
I ate the most amazing corn dog today.
I will probably dream about it.
Worst walk of shame man. They had a fire drill at 7am, had to walk out of her all girl dorm wearing my Everday I'm Hustling sweater
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
Send me a picture of our booze closet. I'm homesick.
I'm deleting Tinder. I got there he rubbed my back and then proceeded to jerk off on me.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
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