Come back if u want to. I'll do some dirty shit to u mamacita.
grinding to god bless the USA? really?
shut up
Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
Do you realize that Last night you pissed in my closet and then walked to the bathroom to wash your hands?
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
private study room at the lib turned into byob study room. that turned into battle royale and eric impaling his leg on a pen.
I woke up with a half eaten bag of lettuce in my hand, wearing my Halloween costume from last year. Damn you tequila.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
Have you ever drank bourbon in your underwear while wearing a Santa hat and reflecting on the decisions of your life? Asking for a friend.
I hate csi yet I find myself watching a full marathon. I am also eating hotdog buns stuffed with barbecue chips and they are quite tasty
Randomize
