Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
so thats when we found her crawling hands and knees up first street singing hold me closer tony danza as loud as she could
did she say where she was going
apparently she thought she was on morton hill and was trying to go back to the bars
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
To justify your stumbling you just kept yelling 'it's the boat, not the drinks' We hadn't even left the dock yet....
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
I just found your spare underwear and the half eaten granola bar you left in my purse.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Sigh. I haven't seen a dick since August 22nd. And in case you forgot, it's January.
He gave me a box of cheez-its after sex, does that make me a hooker?
Would I do it again? Probably not but still,I don't regret a single ratchet thing I've done in college.
Need ride home. Girls. Stolen keg. Rolling down streets. Horny girls. No condoms. Rescue needed. girls and beer in exchange for rescue and bacon?
I. Hate. You. Where are you, are said girls cute, and how did you know I bought bacon? And how does this always happen to you?
Smarter than the average bear
Randomize
