Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
He sent me a picture of him bent over showing his asshole with the caption "vwahla".... No more tequila for either of you
I only get commercials for vodka and Rogaine now. You're exactly right, Hulu. That's exactly right.
I can't handle dick pics with conversational captions
I kinda took a step back after our "surprise bottles night"
I think once you know a guy's chest measurements the stalking has gone too far..
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
I woke up in a stranger's bed wearing nothing but santa socks.
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
MY HISTORY TEACHER IS FUCKING MY MOTHER. I am downstairs and i can hear the squeak of the bedsprings please I swear to god pick me up THIS INSTANT.
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
My new gym is popular with trophy wives. They’re talking about yachts and plastic surgery
Learn their secrets! I want to meet men with Maseratis. The meat heads and Mustangs scene is getting old
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