You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
First night in the new apartment. There are 12 people here i don't know, Tequila, and a crying girl locked in our bathroom. I think the apartment christening is complete.
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
Note to self glow in the dark nail polish can be quite the mood killer during sex especially when you notice its working for the first time and you stop everything your doing to do spirit fingers
Literally I thought my ears were pouring out blood. That high.
Also I'm sitting home alone with a big ass bowl of marshmallows right now just eating. It's so sad.
i made sure not to drool on your bed by putting my hoodie on backwards and swaddling my face in the hood
I remember because you made a pirate noise when you came.
Meanwhile she's getting her law degree and I'm dropping Cool Ranch Doritos down my bra because I'm laying down eating on the couch
I woke up on a boat next to an extremely attractive man wearing nothing but a life jacket. Neither one of us owns a boat...
I'm too drunk to explain this to you. It's too hard.
I'm sitting at my kitchen table alone dressed as a dinosaur smoking bowls in the dark. Is this rock bottom? Or is this living the dream? Who's to say
He eats ass but won’t hold open doors. My kinda guy.
Chivalry really is dead.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
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