You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
Dude, this old lady messaged me on Facebook talking about her grandson and wanted to know shit about me. I'd almost call her a cougar except she looks like mashed potatoes that have come alive.
now I regret adding my aunt on facebook. she remnded me today on my wall about the importance of checking my stools for blood since I have diaherria.
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
He's a firefighter, who has his own band. I'm pregnant just thinking about him.
And we started making out. She asked me to pick a number between 1 and 10. I said 6. She took me to her room. A few minutes later I wasnt a virgin. DUDE I WAS GOING TO SAY 2.
Look at my eyebrows in this pic! We deffo need to go back to that waxing place.
You have a cock in one hand and a shot in the other. Your eyebrows are not the topic in need of discussion.
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
I had to run home with my hands covering my tits this morning. How does this keep happening?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
Okay, new plan. Get drunk, eat breadsticks. It's going to be great.
pls come tAke this super bath no romo it's just. so nice.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
I just met his mom for the first time with a hang over. Then we went to watch his 8 year old cousin get baptized. Apparently his family loves me. I should drink more often.
Randomize
