It smells like ranch
Must be all the white people
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
we put a pacifier in your mouth because you kept drunkenly singing country music.
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
All I know is that either you or I told a black guy that he looked like usher and he was sexy and that is our confession
You called my nipples compassionate. What does that even mean?
I WAS CONCIEVED IN THE BACK OF MY CAR. THATS HOW OLD THIS CAR IS.
...how and why.
PARENTS ARE MAGIC.
The psychic I saw today told me NOT to text the guy I haven't heard from yet since our first date this weekend b/c it wouldn't go anywhere...Miller light said otherwise. Miller light > Cleo
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
did you make it home?
i'm in a room and it looks like mine :)
hahah close nuff if it isnt
uh...sober saturday NEVER has a good ring to it.
She was drunk running in the middle of the street when a cop saw her,picked her up and dropped her off at her house. This really doesn't surprise me.
Nothing kills the mood like opening another guy’s dick pic in bed
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