all i remember is you climbed in a garbage can and said you were trashed
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
i perioded on his leg
on. his. leg.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
and everything will be beautiful and nothing will hurt and we will eat nachos
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
Dress was in bathroom covered in shards of glass, earrings on living room floor, bracelet still missing, purse in backyard. The cast of Princess Bride all left the bar to make sure I was ok. Perfect night
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I think we've reached the point in the summer were we need to go back to school. I was so bored yesterday I nearly bought blow dart gun.
My card got declined when I tried to buy dippin dots at 2 am, the lady gave them to me for free because "I looked like I needed them."
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
I'm a teacher who's always telling kids about the importance of due diligence, yet I'm eating an avocado out of a coffee filter because I'm too lazy to wash dishes
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