the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm the fucking queen of sexting. I just made a blowjob sound so poetic I'm wishing I were a guy just so I could blow me. Learn from me.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
Well that's the thing. He does want to take me out... To a strip club. I see this going down a very bad road but you know I'm going to go.
Can I interview you during sex or would that be weird?
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
I'm sure there are thousands getting dick today in the name of independence
So the revenge porn my ex posted just resulted in a contract with a gay porn company. I'm going to make $8,000 this weekend. That would a breakup checkmate. Are you joining me in the legislative committee hearing tomorrow?
I also farted in bed this morning and said, "I don't even care. My body deserves that."
It's your birthday, you should get to jizz where you want to. Jizz when you want tooo
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Randomize
