You are still hot in my book. I wanna dry hump u like a 9th grader then hump for real when the herpes is gone.
I didn't think it was possible for the human body to be physically dependant on weed until I moved in with this kid
I just figured I'd let u know that you bought a yacht on ebay last night
Don't make me choose between a good grade and anal
Mom just texted me to see if it was you who was streaking at the Mariner game... Did you accept yet another $1 bet?
I am too hungover to address any of this right now, every time i move it feels like i'm being bitch slapped by the hand of God
Ill tap morse code on the ceiling when im ready for you to come down amd smoke
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
All I know is I got on a table at late night and sang gotta go my own way
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
I should probably stop recommending my dentist to the different guys I'm seeing. That could be awkward in the future.
He described his sex dream about me using only emojis
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
I saw a penis covered in glitter tonight.
Randomize
