I didnt pay $190 for a fake with a new middle name of Vane..
No, I'm a firm believer in "Swallow or it isn't love."
I think condoms have that nasty latex smell to remind you in the morning of how gross you are.
So how gross is it that Woopie Goldberg has a vagina? She's like the exact opposite of a boner....
My facebook horoscope today said I will have a little "confusion". Obviously astrology understands a blackout.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
He came into your room last night to tell me he was leaving, when I woke up this morning he was facedown in your hallway. He didn't make it very far.
It's my vagina- remember its magical and yes I just did mini spirit fingers
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Honestly I was sitting in managerial accounting thinking "I really need to get my shit together and stop drinking so much wine." But when you asked I realized... it's wine. It's always a yes.
There's a video of you almost falling asleep in a bar stool listening to Jimmy Buffett. Nekkid.
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
Randomize
