haha you were like: "I don't want to uh pressure you.." as you took your own shirt off
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
The guy drove to our house at 6am to sell us weed. Now that's customer service.
Whoever said that a man can only cum up to 8 times a day is a fucking liar...or was never on adderall
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Based off the amount of cat hair on my poncho....i stole a cat last night.
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
Pssh I just bang a girl in a single person tent. Thats like the back seat of a sedan.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
Pretty sure if we keep hanging out on Tuesdays there will be no whiskey left for the younger generations or the universe will implode....tomato tahmato
he came over last night and we fucked with the great british baking show on in the background. it was beautiful
It’s 830 am and the amount of Valentine’s Day snaps I’ve already seen makes me either want to vom, drink a bottle of wine, or buy chocolate
1000% No lie I was just looking on insta and was thinking about taking a bottle of wine to the face..
Guess it's not a good idea to try lighting a cigarette with my stove drunk, I burnt off half my bangs.
Randomize
