last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found your credit card inside the bag of chips
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Good lord, they've set up every firework to be ignited by a trail of gasoline at midnight. God save us all.
Excuse me but the alley way I wanted to fuck in happens to be a very nice clean area.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
You must take up my position now. You must pass out in awkward places as I taught you... Sears a hotel elevator and Burger King bathroom. You potential for greater young grasshopper.
I have weed and a speedo - I don't need anything else.
5% want to drink juice and feel better, 95% just want to touch your butt
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I accused him of not drinking enough alcohol and eating tacos after midnight. I was sober and he's not a gremlin. I would say bad.
I passed out in my bed, but woke up on the dog bed,with no pants, snuggling with toilet paper and a bottle of softsoap. Ive hit a new low.
short story short, i just screamed anal seepage in the middle of a diner.
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