we were just talking about designated drivers and i suggested we each hire a mexican day laborer to give us piggy back rides... i have the best ideas eveeer
For a day that started with shitting my pants, things turned out fairly well.
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Who's got a bloodstream full of margaritas by 2pm? Not you, that's for sure, because you've got one of those "real" jobs.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
How external is "for external use only"?
I may have just poured a honey apple beer onto a dried apple slice to rehydrate it. This is my day.
I threw up in my room. And I cleaned it up with a spatula.
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
she said a prayer for the pipe you broke. she did the sign of the cross and everything
Randomize