I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
I have a new fascination with cutting really small segments of hair off peoples heads when they're not looking.
her facebook's as public as her vagina
Whoa, Gary Coleman died
Whatchu talkin bout?!?!
Too soon.
I just saw a girl licking a cheeseburger wrapper. dont ever let me get that fat
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
You don't have to believe me. My vagina knows it happened.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
Yea i think drunk-me kept all my bar receipts, just to throw it in sober-me's face.
Well just watched a guy puke in a trash can then proceed to pick pizza outta said trash can and eat it
Do you have any puffy paint? I want to put "fiesta muthafuckas" on my sombrero but its too much to bedazzle.
Honestly it was like 3 AM and I only agreed to go to the strip club because I wanted chicken tenders
You like pics of my balls that much?
I am at the store looking at frames as we text...
Randomize
