at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
Holy shit. This 2 year old just told me her nipples were for her boyfriend. Hello future leaders of america
I'll try not to. I have an appointment at the hospital tomorrow so my goal is to wake up there.
I jumped on his cock in 2 seconds flat. Thanks mom for sending me to gymnastics when I was a kid.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
Do you have any pics of the gummy penis incident?
No man. Everyone needs to shit off a roof, at least once.
I love birth control. How's that for a Facebook status on valentines day.
You ruined a cute cat because your lack of horniness
I feel like I should have held a press conference. The state of my vagina
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
I'm sorry but it's something you and your A cups wouldn't understand.
Randomize
