Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
Just checked my bank account while shitting blood. Neither action felt good when I was done.
I don't know how it happened, one minute we were talking about Huck Finn, the next minute I was blowing him behind the corner of his apartment building.
You were competing with my dog to see who had the stronger bark....
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Any story that involves the words "bloody hand job" and/or "sliced penis" is bound to be a good one, right?
Then she looked me straight in the eyes and asked me if I missed my foreskin. Weirdest conversation ever.
The moment buddy the elf found out he was human is exactly like the moment I realized I was gay
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
I guess the weekly d&d orgies are treating you well
I CAN SEE SO MANY PENISES. There are so many visible penises here.
Where are you???
Yoga class :(
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
Whats a little breast milk between friends?
Randomize
