Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?
U of I kids don't fist pump to Sweet Caroline. Get me the fuck out of here.
Wouldn't pinatas filled with coke be awesome idea for cinco de mayo?
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
If I don't wake up hungover in a ditch Monday morning I will consider my halloween a failure
there are some nice people on this island. free ride free pancakes and they even prayed for us when they dropped us off
you vomited through the snorkel and onto the back of your head. it was truly amazing
If you're in the liquor store 5 minutes before close, and you have to ask the cashier for a coin to flip to make a life decision because "vodka takes you to a bad place," you need to reevaluate your life.
I wish I was in the big bed with a naked you post sex eating chicken nuggets
Drank for free all night and I'm not even sleeping w the bartender. What is this magic?
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
someday i'll meet a man and who loves me as much as i love getting drunk and starting fires
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
Its one of those days... someone might die
Would a picture of my dick help?
Randomize
