Go study a dick amy that's outrageous
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
so I ended up banging her last night
dude I remember her. You sure it was a her?
i don't even remember
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
I just realized I turned down a booty call too. To make cheesecake. God help us all
Katie told the cabby "when the boat docks I'm getting off with you"
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
I wonder how your parents would feel if the scarf they gave me for Christmas is mainly being used for a blindfold during sex...
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
THE MAINTENANCE MEN WERE DOWN STAIRS AND I THOUGHT THEY WERE MY MOM. I'VE BEEN YELLING 'GRILL ME A CHEESE' AT THEM FOR HALF AN HOUR
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I've decided to give up hard drugs for the rest of the year.
you never keep up with shots anymore
I'm trying to be more responsible these days
you fucking tried to take your pants off and pee in Taco Bell's parking lot
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
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