We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
So... how did lowering your standards work out last night?
I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
To drunk to make oatmeal. I'm pouring it into my mouth and gargling it with beer. Ive made maple brown sugar bud light
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
We still on for coffee?
Cream and sugar. Deliver to planned parenthood in 45.
I wasn't an ass in college so much more like I showed my ass a lot especially during serious beerpong games. You know I don't fuck around when it comes to sports.
Is the Chairman of the College Republicans throwing upon your toilet right now? 'Murica!
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
He said he could outsmoke me so I challenged him to a weed duel. I don't always very competitive but when I do...
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
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