Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
He thinks he's a sex addict. Just. My. Type.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
Not my man #1 and if he likes it then he should put a title on it. Till then the gates of hell. Aka my vagina are open for entrance.
Although I would ideally cut back on smoking weed, imagine what getting high and looking for our spirit animals would be like
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
the only good thing about going home with him was that he was prettier than me.
I've been here 20 minutes and a sweaty naked man has kissed me on the cheek.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
On the other hand, this could be a new level of shame for me.
My aunt asked how many piercings I had and my mom said seven and I said nine and that's how my family found out I had my nipples pierced.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
