I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I've been thinking and really it's a miracle I haven't had an STD yet.
I just stuffed five dollars in my near empty box of camels to remind myself to buy more. And my mom says I don't budget my money
Missing a small section of hand. Hope your night is going better
its not thanksgiving till you and grandpa shotgun beers out in the shed, and lose
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
Omg. One night stands are not supposed to show up to your swim class the morning after. Worst lesson ever.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Me too it's so nice. Debated studying out there but woulda been 90% babe-watching 5% flexing 3% studying and 2% talkin my boners down.
she got the mcdonald's logo tattooed on her ass. sober. yesterday at noon.
Well I can't be held accountable to know every which time you slid a finger here or slid a finger there. I'm way too busy getting close to climaxing to document these things.
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
I thought I was really making her scream. Turns out she had a Lego jammed in her lower back.
Theres just something about today that says lets get drunk, dont you think?
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