the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
my goal is to masturbate without thinking about my exbf.
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I'm so glad I got to use the word gutterslut before 11:00a today.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I dapped up a cop while leaving the party
He lit a shoe on fire and tried putting it out by peeing on it
people keep driving by and judging me for drinking natty outside in my underwear at 9 am. rude.
we've dated a week and made out twice. he is taking it slow. but his body is stupid sexy. just want him to stop respecting me and fuck me like a gutter slut. respect me later im not getting younger.
im pretty sure i tried to use axe body spray to cover up the strong urine smell coming from my jeans. im also pretty sure that it didnt work.
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
