he had to chose between the booze and condoms
what did he choose?
the booze, then looked at me and said, plan b is free right?
I just had to take a drug test for my new job. I should have asked them if they could tell me if I were pregnant or not while they were at it and save me the guesswork.
I have to verbally tell you. He looks good on paper...but he totally fails in person. Like communism.
I now have an ENTIRE drawer of unused disposable silverware from Boston Market... and you guys said I needed to "buy" kitchen stuff
Does Jim keep sending you pics of him in drag too???? If so, are you also slightly uncomfortable?
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
you haven't really lived until you are in a situation where your vagina is hanging out
I think I'm still drunk...I just gave my empty conditioner bottle a break-up speech before I threw it away.
I just watched two grown men tickle-fight. Just glorious. No words.
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
I'm cooling my balls with a beer because I'm too cheap to turn on the AC
Yeah just had sex and grub hub came right after he did. I’d say it’s a win.
Oh yeah, nothing says welcome home like walking in on your parents having sex on your bed while the dog is watching, they told me to wait until they were done...
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
Randomize
