I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
is it weird that i feel like i won the break up because my status change got two comments and his got zero?
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
Hashbrowns don't come out your nose as easily as you would think
Any little, cute, petite blondes with you?
Nah, I got some slutty brunettes though.
Its against the rules to not make you aware of his virgin situation prior to penetration
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
Yeah. Just jump him. Naked. Claim his dick for yourself.
Just successfully invited my mom to a drag show. If that doesnt say "im gay" then idk what will.
Text me later if you aren't dead and wanna have a drink later
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
If it makes you feel better he's in the stall next to me and I'm taking a diabolical shit. He's complaining
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
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