Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
We're lucky we aren't prostitutes by now. Whats the etiquette for returning a pair of heels with blood on them?
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Don't worry I drank 7 more beers & brought home a guy that bit me at the bar.
You are NEVER going to guess whose penis was JUST in my mouth!!!
I'll give you a hint, we ate paste with him in kindergarten.
It's all good. Going back to my room to try and air out my balls.
Oh wow. I almost tweeted #TweetFromTheBackOfACopCarTuesday but I didn't think it was that appropriate
Just saw a guy with two baby turtles sneaking into the building
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
First table when you walk in. Can't miss us. I'm wearing a feather boa and a green hat
You had me at first table
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
Is the Glover Park Chipotle past the strip club?
Why is that your only point of reference?
Just answer the question
Randomize