Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Are you missing anything? I found a wedding ring in my bed this morning.....
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
No he can't help me find his house he is strapped to a stretcher facing the opposite direction
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
Idk I'm sorry it's weird to ask for testimonials on your penis
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I ended up sleeping on a park bench. Never using Tinder again.
In all the years we have had drunk sex, have we ever done it in a bed?
He brought me a bottle of Jack, got me off 3 times, & then left. This is the best fakelationship ever!
God. Spice Girls is now grocery store demographic. Kill me.
Randomize
