The karaoke bar doesnt have electric avenue. Ill just have to pick another song and sing the lyrics to electric avenue
I forgot to mention I threw up in my wine glass AND my neighbors empty cup.
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
when i start to cry when i lose at mario kart is when you should put me to bed
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
I had something called a trashcan. Never again. I almost fucked chewbacca.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
There was a cop outside the house so we just put the alcohol in this watermelon
I just sneezed and it made my entire body ache. Hungover is an understatement
I'm sitting on the toilet just to avoid my bosses look of disapproval
I know it must have been a hard break up. Are you okay?
Oh yeah, I'm fine dude. My vaginas heart is broken though. I feel bad for her, you should give her a call sometime.
I would recommend NOT getting ass enhancement shots.
Called Apple, my penis pics are safe.
Im gonna go for the gay guy. The ginger is freaking me out.
Dude I woke up with a handprint shaped bruise on my ass, a pong ball in my cleavage, and somebody else's gold chain around my neck. Who's house am I in?
Randomize
