Dont touch anything! You just got rid of your crabs!
Im interpreting your silence as a silent plea for me to come wake you up. See you soon.
They are providing beer and having a margarita machine. This cannot be passed up.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
sitting on the counter. eating honey. crying, because coldplay sounds beautiful on the radio. highhhhh as the sky
you know it takes a lot for me to use utensils conservatively
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
It's all sex hats and vagina bandages with you isn't it?
Yea you just drank all the Hookah water, then started talking gibberish about the Kool Aid you just drank.
Ok fuckface listen up and listen good. 1.calling dibs on a chick out of your league is like applying for a job with a highlight video 2. dont fucking ski down the stairs again 3. if you do, put it on your highlight video
no im not bringing booze its easy, you just challenge a drunk guy to beer pong, he'll hand you two beers, you lose on purpose, and everyone makes fun of you. but we laugh in the end for bringing nothing to a byob
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Are you planning on wandering into construction sites drunk and falling down 6' holes?
probably
you said "it's karaoke night" and tried to use my dick as a microphone
It was bad. U were calling my cat "kittiano" and playing her like a piano. Way too drunk my friend.
Randomize
