I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
I feel so grown up. I just went to home depot to buy actual home improvement supplies instead of stuff to make a bong with.
She's Christian and monogamous. Two wammies right there. No amount of convincing will turn that bi for a night.
My natural self cock block skills kicked in last night. I could've got on like 2 chicks but i ended up throwing up all over my van instead.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
What hospital were we in last night? Insurance needs to know
and do you remember when you were dressing me if i had money in my bra?
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Can you pick me up a bottle of make-an-ass-of-myself tonight?
Do you want cuervo gold or silver?
My only regret is that I have but one penis to give to your vagina.
Can you bring home bongs? Like all the bongs. I need bongs
speaking of festive, i made out with a guy in a leaf pile last night. happy fall?
I am a bad person
You slept with him. Was it good?
I wasnt going to but I was too lazy to blow up the air mattress
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