Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
youre totally missing out on eating your boogers right now. my entire face is numb
The lid of our salsa is promoting a contest that ended in July '09
do you actually have a paper bowl full of broken glass and ecstasy or was that just a dream?
I dunno... But she calls vodka "dancing juice"
I deserve like a purple heart or something. I just made it all the way drunk through my 2 story house without making a sound. While carrying a trombone.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
You screamed "I NEED TO GET THE WHOLE SET!" and then proceeded to try touching everyone's balls in the room
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
I'm just waiting for the avalanche of beef.
I cried over the lack of milkshakes I've consumed in the last month
I agree and I would be an awesome dog
I'm texting you know although you won't get this until you wake up. the only reason you are strapped to your bed is because you were trying to fly out your window.
My head is bruised from having sex in the backseat of an explorer last night.
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