Rosebud was a fucking sled. Gay.
im 80% sure the guy across from me is taking pictures of my legs
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
When he goes down on me, he stares me in the eyes like a shark mocking it's prey as it devours it. Plus, his beard smells like dirty gym socks. This has got to end.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Either sorry for fondling you Saturday or thank you for letting me fondle you Saturday.
So tomorrow I have my performance review with my boss who I banged. When I go in should I ask if this review will be rating my sex or work performance?
We just stood outside and debated the existence of mermaids for about 20 min. Is this what too drunk is?
It's true. There would need to be A LOT of data collection. Aka, dick-catching. I volunteer as tribute.
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
Hes back in his dorm room dancing naked with 3D glasses on.
and he said that acid doesnt really do anything to him...
Randomize
