I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
my iphone just auto-corrected drink to drnknghhhg...
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
He adopted an old drug sniffing dog so that he won't lose his weed around the house anymore. It works.\n
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
She's the second Ashley to meet and blow me in the same night. Sensing a trend.
He pointed at some girls and said "I'm gonna have sex with them girls over there", and disappeared.
That doesn't mean I'm a slut. Unless McFlurries are involved.
I will rub McFlurries all over you.
Well I was kicked out of the bar and woke up on a picnic table. I'd say the night was awesome!
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
I feel like I don't show you my boobs enough. And you deserve to see them like all the time
What??! Dude I'm not having you barging in at like 2 am smelling of cigarettes and disappointment to sleep on my couch and then have an awkward morning with my wife while I'm at work.
Touché sir
Wow. I hope you were either doing that in your sleep or blacked out. You threw up then covered yourself in duct tape... i wish i got that on camera
Randomize
