i dont nkow, theres a guy slesping next to me and im wearing 8 tsthirts? wtf happened last night? will you come get me.
i think im in thre room next to you
No, veal is cruel because they chain them down, I'm talking about free range human babys here.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
all i need in life is blowjobs and white cheddar cheezits
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
I got to watch him fuck me from behind in the reflection of an ornament. so glad I decorated.
I told you I was good to drive
dumbass I drove... you sat in the passengers seat and steered with a paper plate
Don't judge me. It was less weird than it sounds when we were in the moment and it was his birthday
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
So the stripper who poured a beer on my head also gives great head. Even she doesn't know why she went home with me. No more mystery shot challenges.
When do you sleep by the way. I was surprised when I went to work at 1 am,left at 7 am and had a text from you somewhere in between
I just vodka nap now...
He saved that picture of my boobs for good luck romance still exists
His sister gave me the "if you hurt him I will break your neck" talk. I didn't know how to tell her we're not a couple.
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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