Don't you think facebook is a bit pretentious, suggesting friends and all? No facebook, I would NOT like to be friends with a girl whose fiancee I have slept with.
Journey is playing on the radio....I think it is a sign I am going to pass my drug test
coke and sex party at dan's
im watching greys anatomy with megan...
wha-pishhh
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
I don't know what I would do if cheese never existed
Someone's stooooned
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I sincerely thought making it to McDonalds by 10:00am was a shoe-in but it appears that I need to adjust my zoom when looking at the map before walking to places.
You serve our country by fighting in the sandbox, i serve our country by entertaining rich businessmans' daughters. We each do our part.
He told me I smelled like peanut butter, pepperoni, and pure unbrieldled passion.
I didn't even respond. Just letting the crazy settle before I calmly fuck his shit up.
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I basically spent the entire weekend in bed with that red head.Every time I tried to leave she got me too horny to think straight. I was kidnapped by vagina
Randomize
