I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
I think the neighbors upstairs are trying for more kids. I want to run up there and yell "mazal tov!"
i just saw a guiness commercial where the guiness was on the verge of spilling the whole time. i was on the edge of my seat scared shitless. im an alcoholic.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
My booty call got married. Come over before I start tagging all the places my dick has been in her wedding photos.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I'm crying, drinking alone and applying for jobs tonight. I figure the alcohol will lower my job standards.
dude, you were feeling up her boob for 20 minutes in front of the guy she was hitting on because you and her had an argument over who had bigger boobs.
hey man, it was for science okay.
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
IT'S LINGERIE PURCHASED FROM A FLEA MARKET, THE ONLY THING IT'S GOING TO BE POSITIVE FOR IS A TEST FOR HIV
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
Nvm, he just almost drank his drink from last night, his drink that has the condom in it. Kinda answers my question.
I am honestly trying to remember his name. All I can remember is that he had a weird mole, a daughter and a lot of cocaine. Please stop letting me pick up at gay night.
I'm gonna send you a dick pic now just so your uncomfortable at work
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
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