Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
capris are just wrong
its like "what can i possible wear to make myself look short and fat? Oh I know!!"
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
I got you a housewarming gift. It starts with "A" and ends with "bottle of Jameson"
do you remember the combo for the lock to my pants?
The boat wouldn't start, so we brought it back to her house and we've been sitting in it in her driveway for the past 5 hours drinking beer and yelling at peoplee.
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
I haven't gotten this high alone in a long time. I keep looking at the cat waiting for her to say something.
Randomize
