escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
We're playing Big Buck Hunter to determine who buys the next pitchers. And they said video games wouldn't help me later in life
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
keep it on the DL tho cause i dont want it getting out and it coming off like i kidnapped her or something
I'm going as Jenn Sterger if she answered Favre's calls and ended up in a trash can. If I don't get laid tonight I'm going to be pissed
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
just an fyi, false alarm on the whole ghonnorea thing. you're safe.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Apparently when it was last call I jumped up on the bar and told everyone to get the fuck out, which was immediately followed by a round of applause from the bouncers/bartenders and my tab getting paid as well.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
Apparently I've texted the word shitfucked so much it auto-completes it now.
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