Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
I am too pretty for them to be this angry at me.
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
This is like the time you took a picture of your knees and told him it was your tits, isn't it?
I think I was using my hair to catch my vomit last night.
You were.
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
Getting drunk and falling down, isnt the best way to describe your hobbies, to your new co-workers.
Looking through last night's sexting, realized one is a haiku..
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
Times have changed. Freshman year I could throw my shirt in a bonfire and still get laid. Now when I puke in my girlfriend's bed on her birthday I'm "an asshole"
I'm sorry. I slept with him again. On the plus side he's got better at it!
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Randomize
