Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
I gambled and lost. Had to pull into a funeral home to clean up with a copy of my resume.
for future reference: even when 4 loko is flat it still fucks you up. im near a tree. come find me.
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
I'm so high I would give anything in the world to be inside my lava lamp right now
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
No. 70% of the female population would find them attractive. The other 30% are lesbian and even they would appreciate them for their strong bodies and athletic capabilities.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
Okay, I just got to our real hotel and the YMCA may have been a better choice. A man w/ no shirt on
I am having the most awesome nonsexual conversation about my vagina right now
Mark my words I will never date another cop again. I don't care if he's JESUS.
I'm gonna try and get through this weekend sober, which is gonna be tough especially since I've already started drinking.
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
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