eating raw peppers to burn the taste of semen out of my mouth
i am not allowed to pick the men i sleep with anymore
I would say a second date is not looking likely, I acciedentally bit his penis. it's still bleeding 43 minutes later.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
What type of outfit says "I know you slept with my boyfriend before and are also way skinnier than me, but I look better...somehow"
I mean besides the fact someone got stabbed, I still had a pretty good night.
And then he told me he was too tired for me to suck his dick. Physically and mentally too tired for me to suck his dick. What the fuck?
I feel like butter and tequila would be excellent combination. Right now. Please do this in my name.
Just got convinced to trip sit for a pack of cigarettes and a burrito. Let the games begin
He is currently tell his hat to go free. Like he has it sitting on the table just waiting for it to take off. When he's not looking I'm gonna throw it off the balcony and tell him it's flying
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
She was rubbing her face on the carpet, she was high.
Just woke up to find that I'd left a stove burner on for the past 6 hours or so. I'm now banned from Ambien cooking.
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
He's being awfully beer snobby for a guy who ordered salad
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