I don't usually arrange sex via text message
i'm pretty sure you said "blowjob marathon" lastnight
i totally said that
I offered to go to AA with him...not because I am admitting I have a problem but because I want to see what they are saying about people like us.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
He literally had a note from his doctor saying he wasn't allowed to finger me for a week
Life lesson: When you compete in an impromptu "bloody mary chug-off," in the end, no one wins.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
You are a magnificent human being. I love you from head to toe. This wine is DELICIOUS.
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
Want to help me look around town for my shorts from last night?
He told me that he'd ride his snowmobile from Cincinnati to Toledo in this blizzard just so I could give him head.
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
You kept telling everyone that you were as sober as a camel. I have yet to figure out what that means
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