one might say we're banned from that church
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
Dude, you were so drunk last night that when we went into subway, you forgot the word for bread.
I just ate a cashew that looked EXACTLY like your dick.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Masturbated before I came into work and now the finger scanner won't clock me in. Fuck Valentines Day.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
I went to her house she had a kid pool in her living room watching the vacation channel drinking rum out of the bottle saying" life is what you make it. Mines a vacation!!!"
If Plan B had a rewards card I would have earned so many free tote bags by now
that was the most beautifully crafted sentence ive ever read that involved the phrase "genitals or whatever"
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
Almost gave the delivery guy a 34 dollar tip. That high
No one can touch me, I'm made of fruit.
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