Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
i woke up next to the toilet with a chipped tooth, somebody elses shirt on, and a random guys id in my pocket
you kept telling everyone how your ninja turtle shell also functioned as a backpack
did i call you last night crying about tacos and the royal wedding again?
the girl walking home behind me started yelling and pointing "i want an ass like hers!" i feel vaguely accomplished.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
So the dude who sold me my english book is the same guy who let me punch him in the face in exchange for a cig at a party a few weeks ago. small world huh ?
Cheese, the small of a woman's back, the universe, mountains, vampiric demons, sleep, and dreams.
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
Was it cause you feel bad for the ridiculousness my vagina goes through because same
It's hard to talk dirty with a mouth full of peanut butter
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
you tried to fight the cop who was busting the party, you said you had a constitutional right to do a keg stand...
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