Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
What do you mean when you say no pre-party sex?
the problem with open bar is i never know what to get
did you really just start a sentence with "the problem with open bar is..."
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Speaking of roommates, Kelsey and I woke up to urine in our trash can. Neither one of us is willing to admit to it so we've come to the conclusion that someone snuck into our room in the middle of the night
spotted: something called the tunnel of opression. i feel like if we patricipated we wouldnt even be phased or we could run it better than them
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my throat is bruised, my back is scarred, my vagina feels like it's going to fall off.. you're like godzilla. you destroy everything.
I'm still not 100% sure who I'm sleeping with
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
We dont have cups... so were doing shots out of bowls like puppies
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
People don't believe me when I say the bruises are from work. They just smile and say "right." Trust me, I WISH my sex life was that exciting.
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