she cant drink. allergic to alcohol.
ewwww. she might as well have a dick.
i think i have herpe
just one?
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
the girl next to me in class is drawing a guy banging a chick doggy style...its very detailed
You should have seen her outfit yesterday. It was like pretty woman before Richard Gere gave her money to buy a new outfit.
Not only do I have sand in my ass, but a crab pinched me while we were fucking. Still totally worth it.
Do you think he woke up this morning, looked at you, and then regretted everything?
Don't make this awkward for me. Don't let your mom come near the bathroom. I can't meet your mom for the first time while I'm shitting. Dont make this awkward.
After she lost the bet I made her get on one knee so she could "Te-blow me"
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
I'm laying in bed listening to Purple Rain on repeat. If you wanna bone, come up, but if not, at least Prince understands me.
It's 90 percent alcohol, and 10 percent a whisper that says "get drunk"
Ok, not to minimize the significance of that beautiful anecdote from your childhood, but here's a video of my penis.
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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