I think your going to be the cause of an awesome death
Remind me if I threw up on you last night or if that was just a dream.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
I should go buy the economy size box of condoms and sprinkle a path like rose petals to my bed... Think he'd get the hint?
"too many" and "free shots" never belong in the same sentence
I need a burrito and a hug.
Trustme, don't ever look up when you're giving road head. It's awkward.
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
I'm a freaking penguin. one mate for life, and really awkward at parties
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